kids-n-violence vs. demands of consistency

Actually, now that I think about it, that first part should be the name of an indie-emo band, doncha think?

But back to the subject at hand...earlier this evening I went outside to check the rain situation vis a vis running. Not for the "normal" reasons...I, unlike most people, *prefer* to run in the rain, hence I'm constantly on the look-out for it. Alas, it had stopped. But my neighbors--who happen to be--By Far--THE MOST Awesome Neighbors In The World--were outside. All of them. The whole familial unit. Zach, Zoe, and Angelina. Ordered by entrance into this world. Angelina is four. And Zach and Zoe are responsible for that, biologically and every other way. Lest you think my love for them all is merely hyperbolic or at best biased, witness the following:

I'm checking the rain, Zach is like 'hey birthday girl!" and Angelina is in purple heels. I remark on said heels, "They are *SO* pretty!" I say. "They are heels," she says. And we both remark on how they are purple with a flower on top.

Her mom and I begin a conversation regarding her former employer's being "disapproving" of her reluctance to "sell stuff". She's a masseuse at a high-end salon. She's like, "Um, I'm not here to *Sell Stuff*." But then I point out, "Well, you can't really be *here* and be reluctant to Sell Stuff, Zoe." That's just not a real possibility. At which point, Angelina interjects: "I've figured out how to get rid of Cameron." Yes, dear reader, you heard right, this all-of-only-a-week-ago four-year-old girl (she's got the Aries curse *sigh*) states that she has in fact determined the best way to "get rid of" this Cameron fellow. Naturally I ask...."Who's Cameron?" And she says, "Cameron is a boy at pre-school who is always talking about guns. And about violence. And about violent guns. *sigh*" Yes, she really did sigh.

Good God Almighty!!! Not only is this fellow-four-year-old talking about guns *and* violence but also Violent Guns!!! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!!

Angelina, apparently, is so vexed by this that she has concocted, all on her own, a plan for "getting rid of" Cameron. Yes, those *are* her exact words: "getting rid of." She breaks it down for me. First, she will cover him in stinging caterpillars. (Thank God those native New Orleanian beasts can finally be put to some good use!) This will, in turn, make his pee smell bad. Then he will be put in the oven and we will eat him. And then we will have apple Jello for dessert.

I look at Zach and Zoe. It's clear that this is not their first exposure to The Plan to Get Rid Of Cameron. I say, "Well that's a great plan! Gimme some." And she does. And I look at Zach and Zoe again and point to my head, "She's got it going on," I say. "I mean, that is a D-E-A-T-H (so she can't understand me) by natural causes. No trace. No evidence." Zach nods approvingly.

Zoe, never one slow on the uptake, not even a little bit, then asks this creature...her offspring..."Um, Angelina...you know...don't you think that *covering Cameron in caterpillars* (oh dear reader, the alliteration...so right...and so completely organic) is in itself a little violent?" At which point I remark that I wasn't gonna bring that up myself but I'm glad someone else did. And lest we forget the oven...I mean, remember, all that's in question at this point is being covered in stinging caterpillars...

And Angelina's reply? "Well, that's different." And you know, it kinda is.